The friendship narrative nobody warns you about

There's a version of freshers week that gets sold to you before you arrive. Instant best friends. A corridor full of people who just get you. Everyone already looking like they've found their whole friend group by day two.

The real version is messier. You'll meet loads of people in the first week, and most of them won't become your actual friends. That's not a failure. It's just what happens when a hundred strangers get thrown into a building together and told to bond over a Pot Noodle.

Why it feels harder than it should

A few reasons this bit of uni catches people off guard.

●      That person in your flat who seems so sure of themselves? They're probably just as nervous as you are, they're just better at hiding it.

●      No pressure if the people you meet in week one don't end up being your best friends. Sometimes they are, sometimes they're just your very first friends, and that's completely fine too.

●      It's easy to isolate without noticing. Skip one social because you're tired, then another because you don't know anyone going, and suddenly three weeks have passed.

What actually helps

A few things that tend to make a real difference.

●      Say yes to pretty much everything, especially when you really can't be bothered. Your social battery might be running on empty, but you never know who you'll meet. You don't have to stay for hours, just go and see if it's your thing. At least you showed up.

●      Look beyond your flat. Societies, course friends, sports clubs and part-time jobs are often where the friendships that last actually start.

●      Don't put pressure on yourself to have it all figured out straight away. Whether it takes three weeks or three months to feel settled, that's completely fine. Everyone's on their own timeline.

Where your Housing Hub and roome comes in

This is where your Students' Union and student's housing app, roome, can actually help. roome is the free app that helps Surrey students handle the practical side of uni life. For instance, their personality quiz isn't just for finding a housemate, it's a genuinely good way to find people you're likely to get on with in the first place. You don't have to be looking for somewhere to live to use it. Match with someone, message them on roome, and go grab a coffee or a drink. No pressure to move in together, just an easier way to meet people who are actually similar to you.

On top of that, you can join your university's community, find a smaller group for your building, course or whatever you're into, and keep up with a notice board covering what's actually happening on campus.

It's not a replacement for putting yourself out there. It's just a slightly easier way to know who else is around while you do.

Your people are out there

Feeling like you haven't found your people yet, three weeks or three months in, isn't a sign you're doing university wrong. Most people are somewhere in the same boat, just not posting about it.

Keep showing up. Keep saying yes. Your people are out there, you just haven't bumped into all of them yet.

Find your community on roome. 

... And don't forget to use your Students' Union Housing Hub for anything housing related!